I love my parents. I have never been one of those kids that's ashamed to hang out with my Mom and Dad. They were always the young, hip adults that everyone thought were cool. My house was the place to be when I was in high school. I even asked my Mom and Dad to chaperon the Senior trip. Now that I am older, my Mama is my best friend and my Daddy is still my hero. They are truly amazing people.
I would like to grow up to be just like my Mama. She is patient. She is kind. She is the epitome of a perfect Hostess. She always speaks kindly of others. Always. She gives people the benefit of the doubt, perhaps to a fault. She never assumes the worst and always sees the good in others. I am not exaggerating when I say, my Mom is probably the closest thing to Christlike I have seen on this Earth, next to my Dad.
I am a Daddy's girl. Even as a grown woman and a Mother, I try to make my Daddy proud. He is the strongest person I have ever met. Even if he is being tortured by physical or emotional pain, he works 120% all day, every day. He prays harder and more often than anyone else I know. He lives for Christ. He is the very picture of moral integrity. To your face or behind your back, my Dad is the exact same person. He says what he believes. He makes everyone laugh. He understands me.
I love my parents. I love how much they love other people. I love that they are honest, hardworking people that have taught their children to be the same way. I love that they love their kids and their grandkids. I love the way they have shown us all how to be Christ Followers.
I miss you, Mama and Daddy. I wish I could be there with you, to love you and support you through these difficult times. Until we can make it home; stay strong, stand up for yourselves and know that those that love you far outweigh those that don't, both in number and in IQ. ;)
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Welcome to Motherhood
Welcome to Motherhood. Pull up a seat. We need to run through some preliminary red tape before we get started, so make yourself comfortable.
First of all, hand over your heart. It won't be located safely within your chest any longer but will walk about freely, with its own mind, own will and own opinion.
Hand over your body. Your size 2 jeans, your perfectly kept hair, your manicured nails and carefully put-together appearance. You will now be a food source, a warm place to sleep, a jungle gym, a trampoline, a snot rag, a boo boo healer, a horsey and a safe haven. Your child does not care how you look, just that you are there when they need you. That you love them more than you love yourself. And that you would give them your everything to see them succeed.
Now, hand over your confidence, your self-assuredness, your prior judgments and your all-knowing attitude. You will no longer know all the answers. You will now be plagued with anxiety, worry and guilt. You will sit up at night and wonder how to handle tantrums, fevers, nightmares, anger and attitude. You will second guess yourself, compare yourself and hate yourself for losing it when you know your child deserves so much more. You will look at other Mothers and no longer wonder why they raise their children the way they do, but how they could seem to have it so together when you are struggling just to get showered before 2pm.
Hand over your prideful posture, your self-confident stance. For not only the next 18 years, but the rest of your life, you will know what your knees are for. That they were made as a vessel for you to get closer to the ground, to learn what self-sacrifice really means. That they were created that you may better hear the whispers of your toddler, that you would be the perfect place to run to when your child is scared or hurting, and that you would have a place to weep openly, to cry out to the Lord for the wisdom that you know, full well, is not within you as a mere woman.
Next, let's have your money, your belongings, your treasures. That priceless antique will get knocked off the shelf and broken, those clothes that used to flatter your figure will never fit the same way again and that paycheck will never stretch far enough to get you all that you desire for yourself. As these things slip away, its odd how you never really notice. Your treasure is sleeping in your arms now, anyway.
Hand over your rock-hard exterior, your rational thoughts and your even emotions. Starting today you will get choked up at the broken dandelion picked by rough hands as the perfect gift, you will weep silently through immunizations and blood draws, you will cry openly alone at night, thinking of the ways you could have been a better Mommy throughout the day.
Now, give up your joy. Your fondest memories. For these things will fade away, distant remnants of a happiness that far outshines them now. The first belly laugh out of your child's mouth will turn your world upside down, change your opinion of what it means to be elated. Never before was there a feeling as blissful as that of your toddler's small hand tucked tightly inside your's.
Finally, hand over your love. Your love for yourself. Your love for others. You have never felt love like this. This fierce, protective, obsessive, all-forgiving, patient, irrational, all-consuming, forever LOVE. The type of love that steals your breath, that shocks you with intensity, that reflects distantly what our Father must only feel for us. Your insides will ache when you are away from your child. You will feel physical pain when they are hurting. You will feel torn apart when they are ill. You will feel your heart leap when they look into your eyes, when they say your name, when they reach out for you, when they tell you how much they love you. You will be absolutely, irrevocably be changed from this moment on. Forever.
Well, we are finished here. You're as prepared as you will ever be, which is completely and totally unprepared. Welcome to Motherhood, don't worry, you will fail completely everyday. But your victory will be in the fact that, even when you are clueless, you are raising someone that will one day be a much better person than you.
First of all, hand over your heart. It won't be located safely within your chest any longer but will walk about freely, with its own mind, own will and own opinion.
Hand over your body. Your size 2 jeans, your perfectly kept hair, your manicured nails and carefully put-together appearance. You will now be a food source, a warm place to sleep, a jungle gym, a trampoline, a snot rag, a boo boo healer, a horsey and a safe haven. Your child does not care how you look, just that you are there when they need you. That you love them more than you love yourself. And that you would give them your everything to see them succeed.
Now, hand over your confidence, your self-assuredness, your prior judgments and your all-knowing attitude. You will no longer know all the answers. You will now be plagued with anxiety, worry and guilt. You will sit up at night and wonder how to handle tantrums, fevers, nightmares, anger and attitude. You will second guess yourself, compare yourself and hate yourself for losing it when you know your child deserves so much more. You will look at other Mothers and no longer wonder why they raise their children the way they do, but how they could seem to have it so together when you are struggling just to get showered before 2pm.
Hand over your prideful posture, your self-confident stance. For not only the next 18 years, but the rest of your life, you will know what your knees are for. That they were made as a vessel for you to get closer to the ground, to learn what self-sacrifice really means. That they were created that you may better hear the whispers of your toddler, that you would be the perfect place to run to when your child is scared or hurting, and that you would have a place to weep openly, to cry out to the Lord for the wisdom that you know, full well, is not within you as a mere woman.
Next, let's have your money, your belongings, your treasures. That priceless antique will get knocked off the shelf and broken, those clothes that used to flatter your figure will never fit the same way again and that paycheck will never stretch far enough to get you all that you desire for yourself. As these things slip away, its odd how you never really notice. Your treasure is sleeping in your arms now, anyway.
Hand over your rock-hard exterior, your rational thoughts and your even emotions. Starting today you will get choked up at the broken dandelion picked by rough hands as the perfect gift, you will weep silently through immunizations and blood draws, you will cry openly alone at night, thinking of the ways you could have been a better Mommy throughout the day.
Now, give up your joy. Your fondest memories. For these things will fade away, distant remnants of a happiness that far outshines them now. The first belly laugh out of your child's mouth will turn your world upside down, change your opinion of what it means to be elated. Never before was there a feeling as blissful as that of your toddler's small hand tucked tightly inside your's.
Finally, hand over your love. Your love for yourself. Your love for others. You have never felt love like this. This fierce, protective, obsessive, all-forgiving, patient, irrational, all-consuming, forever LOVE. The type of love that steals your breath, that shocks you with intensity, that reflects distantly what our Father must only feel for us. Your insides will ache when you are away from your child. You will feel physical pain when they are hurting. You will feel torn apart when they are ill. You will feel your heart leap when they look into your eyes, when they say your name, when they reach out for you, when they tell you how much they love you. You will be absolutely, irrevocably be changed from this moment on. Forever.
Well, we are finished here. You're as prepared as you will ever be, which is completely and totally unprepared. Welcome to Motherhood, don't worry, you will fail completely everyday. But your victory will be in the fact that, even when you are clueless, you are raising someone that will one day be a much better person than you.
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