You're four years old. Four. That's a lot, huh? You are such a big girl now and I am so very proud of you. Four years we've been together now. Four years of laughter and light. Four years of dancing and twirling and pink tutus and bright blue eyes. Four years of questions, and sometimes, doubts for Mommy. Four years of struggling to get things right. Four years that have been the best of my life.
Sweet Rosaline, I want to tell you thank you. Thank you for making me Mommy. This is the best job in the world, even when it's also the hardest. I'll never forget the first time I held you. Five pounds of radiance, two days old and brand new to me. I'll never forget the way my heart felt: heaviness lifted, joy like I never knew existed, fear and doubt that I hadn't seen coming. And when you opened your eyes and they met mine that first time, my soul sighed, Oh, there you are. I've been waiting for you. And the enigma that had been my existence until that precious moment settled. And my puzzle-heart fell into place. And I knew, this is why I was here. I had always been waiting for you. I was made to be your Mommy. So, thank you, Little REW, for making me Mommy.
Thank you for teaching me. You've taught me much more about life than I've taught you, I think. It seems backward and almost unfair, doesn't it? The Lord gave you to me to teach and lead, not the other way around. But, no. You've taught me about myself, about life, about patience, about choosing peace over chaos. Thank you for teaching me to look up when all else fails and the crying just doesn't stop and the joy doesn't quite seem to exceed the pain. Now, when you are kind to your sister and polite to your teachers and creative and excellent in whatever you set your mind to do, I see all the efforts and prayers paying off and I know you've taught me a great lesson in perseverance. You've helped me grow up over these last four years while you were growing into such a wonderful little girl. I have a feeling you'll teach me much, much more in the next 14 (and 24, and 54...) So, thank you, my Punky-Doo, for teaching me so much. Please, never stop challenging me to be better.
Last, I'd like to say thank you for teaching me about love. I never knew what unconditional love really looked like until I met you. But the moment I saw your perfect, tiny face, I understood. Now, you know I am imperfect. I lose my temper and raise my voice sometimes. I don't always act like the best Mommy. I am sorry for that. But I know I've done one thing consistently right in these last four years, I've always always always loved you. I am always for you and your sister first. I can't help but be head over heels in love with you. When you cried all day and all night for three whole months after you were born, I loved you. When you grew so fast it took my breath away, I loved you. When you walked and talked and changed and became this gorgeous, fascinating, sensitive individual, I loved you. When you made me laugh with your quick wit and cunning humor, I loved you. When you stomped your foot and told me no in front of our guests and made my face and ears burn red, I loved you. When you hugged me tight and told me I was your best friend, I loved you. I have always loved you. Always. Every moment. The easy ones and the astonishingly difficult ones; I've loved you. And, you know what, precious girl? I always will.
So, thank you, Rosaline Elizabeth. Thank you for teaching me all about love. Thank you for being my first precious girly. Thank you for being the brilliant and funny, sassy and stubborn, sensitive and loving, creative and kind little girl that you are. Mommy loves you so. Happy Birthday, baby girl.
