Tomorrow she is one. My heart bursts and breaks.
Today was a good day. A fantastic Christmas full of wonder and joy. I treasure moments like these; when both of my girls are happy and healthy and home. This evening I took my precious baby up the stairs and with every step, I thought of how wonderful the day had been, how I cherished her first Christmas, and how I wished I could somehow freeze time and stay here for just a bit longer. But as I laid her down and tucked her in bed, I realized her first Christmas has passed, right along with her first year of life.
Tomorrow she is one. My spirit soars and aches.
Too big now to swaddle and swing. Too busy for cuddles. Too fast to let out of my sight. My precious Annie, growing and changing and taking my breath away everyday. I long for the way she used to feel, heavy in my arms but not so much that I thought they might break. I yearn for the little baby sounds of suckles and coos. I miss the quietness and stillness of her infancy. But change is good, I know. She's becoming a toddler. And in another blink she will be a pre-schooler; a breath away from being a real life big kid. She's growing up. Because that's what babies do. And I know we will have grand adventures. And we will make wonderful memories. And we will live our dreams. Starting tomorrow.
But tonight, she is not one. She is my baby. I smile through happy, hurting tears.
Plump baby cheeks will fade. Mischief and discovery and laughter and tears all await. But tonight, sleep peacefully, Lovely One, and grow a year older while you dream.
