No, I haven't lost my mind. I just have a toddler.

Its like my mantra these days. Please, random lady in the grocery store, don't mind me as I mutter to myself nonsensically in the cereal aisle. I'm just trying to get my daughter and myself through Walmart in one piece.

Baby Girl has officially hit the Great Age of the Gigantic Tantrum. I often wonder when exactly we will ever be able to go out in public again. The last few times have been disasters of epic proportion. From leaving restaurants covered in milk and macaroni to dragging my flailing toddler down the grocery aisle by her arm, she is in rare form these days. I know, I know, its just a phase, this too shall pass and whatever other completely useless cliches you have for me. I get it. Its just that, sometimes I'd like to not have to apologize to the mother of the sweet, innocent, non-violent toddler that my child just pummeled in the McDonald's play place.

Don't get me wrong. She isn't always acting out. In fact, sometimes she is the most ridiculously cute thing you have ever seen. No exaggeration. You would call your own child just average after one look at this girl's knock out baby blues. Today she was heart melting, trying to carry some water across the yard in her little cupped hand so she could give the puppy a drink. Truly priceless. She is super cute a lot of the time and mostly just acts out when she is around other children. It must be the only child thing. Or perhaps just the 18 month old thing. Most likely a combination of the two. It does, however, often leave me acting in ways that make me look as if I have gone completely insane.

Just this morning I was calmly drinking my coffee and reading when I glanced down at my shirt and saw what can only be described as, well, I can't even describe it. I just immediately jumped off of the couch and began stripping. No use examining whatever toddler goo that was too closely. No keeping it on my body any longer than absolutely necessary. Poo, boogers, some other ungodly form of toddler ooze, it was on me and it had to go. Looking behind me I realized that, yes, the window shades were open and, yes, that was my neighbor standing across the street staring at me slack jawed. Hi there, old lady from across the street, no, I haven't lost my mind. I just have a toddler.

A few minutes later and after selecting a new soon-to-be-boogered t shirt, I picked up some old mail and carefully studied the contents of my trash can before I threw it in. I see only garbage, much to my relief. No, I haven't lost my mind. I just have a toddler. You have no idea how many non-trash items I have saved from the dump in the last few weeks. Books. Toys. Clothes. Cups. The Hub's toothbrush. (Actually, I just left that one there and got him a fresh one.) Its so cute and a little bit helpful when you can teach your kids to throw away their own dirty diapers, so cute until you realize that they are now throwing away everything within reach and you can't find your keys.

Welcome to my life. Please don't take my shoe laces from me. I swear, I'm not crazy.